Sitting in Seattle's Best Coffee, sipping an iced chai latte, and musing to myself that hours take literally hours to pass. I've been wandering around Akashi for a few already, because my manager said I didn't need to be back at the school until 4:30pm. I worked on a lesson plan, and got it mostly finished up and then headed out to find some food in the city. Killed an hour in McDonalds. I know, I know. Garbage food. It was gross, but I seriously wasn't in a fish mood and I'll be able to cook for myself very soon so it doesn't really matter. It was one of my last meals out for awhile.

Decided to go to the corner Vodaphone shop to try to scrounge up some info on phone pricing and stuff. OH LORD, was it ever difficult! The poor sales guy did so much work! He even called the main vodaphone customer service line to get me someone English on the phone. To get a cel here, I need my ARC, my bank account, and some ID. Intense. I did manage to figure out which phones will work *if unlocked* back in Canada, so that was progess. Also, there's some sale on at the moment that for a year contract, it's only another 5000 yen ($60) for the phone, so I think that;s reasonable. I settled on a nice phone, and then realized it wasn't a triband and was a bit broken hearted, but c'est la vie.

I'm a bit nervous about moving into the apartment later today. What if it's awful? What if it's as bad as my first year residence room in Lanark? What if I can't sleep at night because I'm scared? Ray warned me I'll probably have to give it a good once over (cleaning) when I arrive, because hers was pretty dingy upon arrival. Oh well, that's doable. Mid-afternoon is a weird time when you're not at work and you don't know anyone! Nobody's online right now; everyone back in Canada is asleep.

Everyone here can smoke in restaurants and public places, like malls. It's so gross. I had forgotten how much smoke truly bothers me, because the cities where I've lived have opted to inforce smoking bans. It was bliss. This place is a commercial wonderland, as I've probably said before, it always surprises me how much STUFF there is. Clothes, shoes, jewellery, electronics, food... wait,t here's NOT that much food. There are apparently two decent grocery stores in this entire city of 290,000 people. WTF, mate, I say. Barrie had 120,000 and there was: Sobey's, 2 Zehrs, A&P, No Frills, and that's just INSIDE the city; there were more right outside and in the south end.

Feeling sleepy. I haven't slept a good solid night in awhile. Stress is really starting to get to me. Disorganization at my school where the newbie *that's me* is concerned is driving me nuts. They rush for the most trivial of things *getting a sheet of paper, for instance* and then drag their heels when it's important. (Um, hello? Anyone? I'm living in a HOTEL!) Compounding this trouble, is the fact that they've had 5, yes FIVE, months to find me a home. They started looking last month. Unacceptable. Also, today is my day off. Yesterday (Friday) was a national holiday, so if I wasn't stuck waiting around in Akashi restaurants, I could've travelled to Kyoto or something.

I apologize for complaining so much, but this is a hard enough transition as it is, without staff proving their incompetence. This company is accustomed to having foreigners in their midst. In fact, that's half of what they're all about. So, why can't they get their asses in line and figure this shit out in a TIMELY manner. It's expected that I arrive to work 15 minutes before the start up hour every day, but it's acceptable to make me wait more than 6 hours on my DAY OFF because they didn't manage to work out that my hotel check-out time was 10:00am, and we can't move me in until 5:00pm? I think not. Once I'm settled in, I'm going to file a complaint with head office. I don't care if it goes unnoticed.

I think about flying home a lot these days. Even at its worst, Canada was a lot easier to deal with than Japan. I feel I was misled by the company to believe that I was coming to a stable, albeit busy and demanding, school in Japan. As far as I can tell so far, this is completely not the case. In addition, no information ever made it me at Honbu. I arrive in Akashi and my 2nd or 3rd day here, they drop the bomb on me that I'm teaching a child's class next week. "Oh, we faxed the updated schedule to Honbu, didn't you get it?" No, I bloody well didn't get it, and that's YOUR responsibility to check and see that I'm informed of such things. There are a lot of apologies here, but they're empty. They don't mean anything. They're a formality, and unlike back at home, there in no way an admission of any culpability whatsoever.

Wow. I sound so cyncial. I'm not really. I'm sure tons of my friends are having amazing times in Japan. I wish I was, too, but right now, it's a struggle just to haul ass to work each day. Monday, I have to begin teaching full-time. I'm kind of dreading it, not because of the teaching itself, but I'm wondering if I can keep my emotions under wraps. I often feel on the edge of tears. Sometimes I topple right voer the that edge. (This morning, for example. Sorry mom.) Adjusting is much harder than I thought it would be, although lack of an apartment has probably influenced that quite a bit. We will find out this week, if having an apartment sets me a bit more at ease. I sure hope it does. Hopefully, it will take my mind off of everything.

I'm tempted to just throw in the towel. Given everything, I think what occurred was basically lying. Withholding the kind of issues present at my school is lying. Nothing more, nothing less. And coming from a company, i feel that's unacceptable. I entered this agreement in good faith, and my employer did not. Sounds a bit harsh, doesn't it? I think it's pretty close to reality, though, even if it seems a bit over the top.

*sigh* Maybe I should look on the brightside. Life's okay, I have enough to eat (even though it makes me sick), I'm not living in poverty (just isolation), and my friends and family are in good health. Lots of positives to be happy about. I think I've hit one of those little down periods. Trouble is, I don't know if it was inevitable, or if it's because of being here in Japan. It's troublesome, because I don't really know what to do anymore, about any of this. *sigh* Enough thinking for one day, time to hit publish. Will check on the wireless situation in the apartment this evening, but I'm not holding out much hope, so if I disappear for a bit, you know why.